Little Big Love by Katy Regan

Author:Katy Regan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-06-12T00:00:00+00:00

16

Juliet

It’s my day off. Zac is at Connor’s birthday party all afternoon—he was singing in the bath this morning, overjoyed to be one of only four people invited—and so I decide to go for a walk in People’s Park. I say that like it happens all the time, when in actual fact it never has. I’ve never seen the point of “going for a walk.” If you’re walking to somewhere—a mate’s house, the Chinese, the bus stop—then that’s different, but just a walk for walking’s sake? I’ve always thought that was a waste of time, a luxury; but I’m beginning to think that’s just been a cover-up for my lazy-arse ways. I’m starting to get real with myself about this stuff and that’s got to be progress.

I asked Laura recently, in fact, how she managed to lose all that weight years ago, expecting her to say, Basic self-control, Juliet. You should try it sometime. But she didn’t. She said, “Being aware. You can’t change anything unless you’re aware of what you’re doing now and what you want to change.” It was a revelation and it stuck, which is saying something because another thing I’ve learned about myself recently is that not much does stick. I. Just. Don’t. Learn. So I’ve stuck it to my fridge: BE AWARE. I may still choose to open said fridge and hack into a block of Cheddar with my bare teeth, but at least I’ll have chosen to, rather than the cheese choosing me, which is basically how it’s felt between me and food all these years.

I’m trying to be aware of being more active too. Zac’s doing really well. I’m so proud of him. He’s definitely lost weight, but it’s not just that; it’s that he seems so much happier. It’s like he’s got purpose suddenly. Whatever it is, my Get Zac Happy campaign might just be working and I want to support him by setting an example, but the truth is, I think I find it harder than him. I’ll be virtuous for a couple of days then start worrying about everything—where were all these facts I was telling him leading us, and what the hell had I started?—and then fall spectacularly off the wagon.

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